


Ten times Merlin and Arthur kissed, and one time it was the last time

by AnnabelleRowan



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 10 + 1 things, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 10:04:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnabelleRowan/pseuds/AnnabelleRowan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kisses.<br/>That's all you really need to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten times Merlin and Arthur kissed, and one time it was the last time

 1. Every day when he wakes up he has to reassure himself that he did indeed wake up. That he’s not still dreaming. That is when the first one happens - the first kiss Merlin gives him. After that he usually decides that he doesn’t care if it’s all just a dream, he just hopes he’ll never wake up. Ever. He can’t remember exactly when they got into this new routine, but he knows he is not missing good old “Rise and shine!” no, not even one bit.

 

 2. Next one happens whenever he catches Merlin cleaning his boots or shining his sword. He always sits on the same stair in the armoury room and Arthur takes his time with this one. He sits next to Merlin, sits really close, enjoying the feeling of their shoulders, upper parts of arms and legs in full length, touching. He slowly wraps his arms around Merlin’s waist and put his head between Merlin’s shoulder and neck. It’s usually after the practice and he’s tired, but he finds this more relaxing then any nap. Merlin lets him rest for a while, but then he leaves the boots, or the sword, or whatever other ridiculous thing he is holding in his hands, and turns a bit to face Arthur. To have Arthur in his arms. Arthur secretly thinks this is what Merlin’s arms were really made for. Merlin wraps his long arms around him and pulls him even closer. They fit perfectly. The kiss itself is a lazy one, slow and gentle. More than kissing they are resting on each other’s lips and Arthur knows he’s not dreaming, this is a thousand times better than any dream he could ever have.

 

 3. Total contrast to that is the next one. It happens when they accidentally meet in some part of the castle and there are not many people around. Merlin, who no matter how much Arthur makes him eat, still looks like the lightest breeze could blow him away is suddenly strong, shoving him into the nearest broom closet (and lord, Arthur never noticed they have so many of those things, it’s seems they grow like the weed all around the castle). Place itself is small, too small for two forces of nature and they later compare cuts, bumps and bruises they’ve earned.

 

 4. That is, of course, next chance they get. It’s also first time Arthur is the one who initiates the kiss. Or better say offers them. Little kisses, all the way down Merlin’s back, on Merlin’s wrists, his knees (which for some reason makes Merlin laugh), and on the gentle skin of Merlin’s thighs. (which for sure makes him stop laughing)

 

 5. One thing leads to another, and the next kiss they share, next time Arthur is aware of the things around himself, next time he breaths properly, is when Merlin is still laying on top of him. When they are what they should be all the time – one. When Merlin looks him in the eyes, looks him like Arthur is some kind of god, a god he’s been praying to for a long time and he’s now finally getting all of his prayers answered. For a second there Arthur panics, starts falling over the edge just by imagining himself doing something that could make that look disappear. Because he knows he’s dreaming, he must be, there is nothing he could have done to deserve all this. To deserve Merlin. And that’s when Merlin kisses him, kisses him hard, saying to him between the kisses that it’s alright, everything is alright, he’s here, he’s here, he won’t go anywhere, don’t cry baby, I’m right here.

 

 6. There are kisses that don’t happen often, and some of them happened only once and will never happen again.  
Their first kiss. The first time they kissed they did more with their eyes than with their lips. Arthur looked at Merlin and saw him stepping forward, putting one hand on his cheek and bringing their faces closer. He saw him hesitating, giving Arthur time to step back, to shout, to push him back. To say what are you doing and answer I thought you were going for a kiss. I thought you were going for a kiss all these years, from the first moment I met you, all that time when you hated me, and yelled at me and used me for a moving target practice, all the time you threatened that you will fire me and find a better manservant, when you took me hunting with you and threatened not only to fire me but to kill me next time I trip over a branch, when you died because you killed the unicorn, when you didn’t die because you didn’t kill the dragon, when.. I didn’t kill the dragon?! Arthur yells and that is when Merlin finally kisses him. That is first time Arthur feels whole in his life, feels like he’s been drowning all his life and now he finally is breathing and could run, run till he gets right to the edge of the world. He kisses back forcefully, answering yes, yes, a thousand times yes, I’ve been going for a kiss, I’ve been falling for you all this time, from the very first time we meet, boy with bluest eyes and bravest heart, you scared me so much, I thought I was insane, there were you, my secret dream, breathing on the daylight, Merlin, Merlin, my Merlin.

 

 7. There are the usual ones, much like the morning kiss - a good night kiss, I’ll be back soon kiss, hello, I told you I’ll be back kiss. A particular hello kiss Arthur likes is related to the way Merlin sometimes sits - with his knees up. It gives Arthur opportunity to put both of his hands on Merlin’s pointy knees and lean down to kiss him lightly. Afterwards Merlin usually looks up and smiles and that’s Arthur’s favourite part. Part where he’s not entirely sure if he is dreaming or if he is awake. It’s perfect, both the boy and the smile, and it makes Arthur’s head spin. Sometimes light hits Merlin’s eyes while he’s grinning like that, and, don’t tell anybody, but sometimes Arthur locks himself in his chambers and writes poems about those eyes, about that perfect shade of blue, bluest blue, blue like his favourite evening sky, like something from a dream he dreamed and forgot about in the morning.

 

 8. Surprise kisses, secret kisses, public kisses... Arthur tries to decide which one is his favourite one but he can’t. First public kiss they shared happened accidentally. Arthur felt like he was still dreaming. They were drunk from sun, from touching, from love they finally knew is returned. It happened right outside the palace. Arthur was supposed to go on a regular patrol with knights and Merlin was helping him to get ready. He had just tied the last knot on Arthur’s saddle when Arthur went mad from need to kiss him just one more time, so he did. Long, hard kiss right on the lips. Silence fell all around them for whole five seconds and then somebody started applauding. They both went red when they realised what just happened, but when they faced the knights they saw it was, of course, Gawain who started applauding. Leon wore a smug smile on his face and Percival looked like somebody just told him carnival is coming to town earlier this year. It was about damn time! Elion commented loudly, and that was it. Well, that was it for the time of being, because Arthur suddenly got scared to be alone with them, knowing how much they’re going to tease him once they are out of Merlin’s sight.

 

 9. Wet kisses are also among Arthur’s favourites. There are all kinds of wet kisses - quick ones while cleaning in the stream, long ones while swimming in the lake, ones shared between laughing when they run away from the rain. There are ones that are not wet because of the water, and Arthur is scared to even think about those kisses. He’s scared of the feeling he gets then, feeling that he’s falling through dark empty space, that he’s dreaming again. He can taste Merlin and Merlin can taste himself, and he can’t even start to wrap his mind about it because it feels like he’ll burn from the inside, his chest will explode --- . He often wonders how is it that he doesn’t burn the sheets, sets the whole bed on fire, how doesn’t he hurt Merlin with all that heat.

       

 10. The heat. This time the heat that comes from Merlin. Heat that he feels in another kind of kiss, the kind he thinks Merlin really has a thing for. It happens all the time and in all kind of places that have solid walls. The kiss where Arthur can barely breathe because Merlin is pushing him up against the wall, crushing him under his weight, sucking his lips, pushing tongue deep in his mouth, biting his neck. It feels like Merlin is all over him, almost like he has an extra pair of hands. And it’s working, cause Arthur is melting like a damn butter on a hot day, Arthur is moaning like there is no tomorrow and if somebody hears them, then so be it, if his own dead father walked in on them right then, Arthur wouldn’t give a damn. When Merlin eventually stops, Arthur begs. He wouldn’t know to beg like that for his own life.

 

\-- Epilogue ---------------------------------------------------------------

There was of course the last one. They didn’t think of it as the last; they didn’t know what’s going to happen that day. Merlin knew it was time but he didn’t know the exact moment, so they tried to behave normally. They tried not to spend every second together, eyes always on each other, fingers somehow always finding the way to touch – to touch lips, cheeks, shoulders, elbows, hands, waist, thighs, knees, legs..  
Nights were the scariest. The saddest. Neither of them wanted to sleep. What they wanted, what they _needed_ was more time. They deserved it.  
There was nothing scary about death - it was happening all the time around them - their parents died, they buried their friends, they killed their enemies. But they never imagined it would happen like this - so soon and so cold. They had hoped for grey hair and wrinkled eyes, for walking sticks and loosened bellies. They had hoped for children that would stay after them. They wanted a good life, not a glorious death. But we are rarely given what we want.  
Arthur was delirious on the battlefield. He became a killing machine. Merlin was the only one who could stop him, telling him that is alright, everything is alright, he’s here, he’s here, he won’t go anywhere, don’t cry baby, I’m right here.  
And he was there, and he knew he would stay there even after.. Arthur would hold him while he wept, whispering into his ear about a dream he had, about a boy with bluest eyes, and how he saw him again and again, how he, no matter what happened, always found him and loved him, loved him more that life.  
And they were like that, forgotten by history, broken lovers, holding desperately to that one last piece of their life, down on their knees, defeated winners surrounded by dead bodies that waited patiently for them to join them.  
The last kiss they shared came soon after that. It was a silly kiss, even though at that time nothing they did seemed silly. It was morning, break of the dawn actually, and Arthur was preparing to ride. Merlin was checking his armour one last time and to distract him Arthur kissed him. The sound of the horn announced waking time for the camp, and they broke it off. Thank you Arthur whispered, and that was it, no great last words, no goodbyes, no tears.  
Three days later when they laid Arthur’s cold body in the boat on the shores of Avalon, Merlin thought about that kiss - how Arthur’s lips had been rough from the wind and cold from morning air, how his beard had tickled him on the nose, how he had closed his eyes, and how, in that moment, they had been there, just two of them, how there had been no time, or destiny, or death. There was no past or future either, no matter what Kilgharrah said.

It had been just two of them - two boys who had shared thousands of kisses, never expecting that one to be the last, two boys who had been lucky enough to share even one kiss, two boys who had fought their destiny and magnificently lost.  
Merlin smiled and pushed the boat into the lake.  
His watch had begun.

**Author's Note:**

> This started as an exercise, prompt given by my wonderful grammar goddess beta B, but it turned into a monster and hunted me at night.  
> B I can’t thank you enough, fic monsters really are the best monsters ;)  
> Also, I’m not apologizing for pretty obvious sub Arthur here. I can’t help myself, and I completely blame Bradley for it. My poor baby and the way his eyes are heart shaped every time that little dark haired shit is around. Hello 911, I can’t separate my Merthur from my Brolin, and I like it.  
> And good god, I just realized I wrote this almost half a year ago. Hi there past me! They say time heals all wounds, but Merthur is once and future ship so.. This was supposed to be total fluff, but.. yeah. Sorry.


End file.
